Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
love makes seman taste better
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
