I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
