god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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