I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
