On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
