2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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