Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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