You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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