You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
