Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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