which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
