I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize