having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
