life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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