It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
