none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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