Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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