Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
COCAINE IS GR8
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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