I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize