clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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