Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
