..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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