we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
