in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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