just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You are the jesus of drinking
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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