What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
