The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
