i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
