He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
