dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
