Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
