The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
