Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
