I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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