I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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