This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
