next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
