it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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