Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize