How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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