smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
