Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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