we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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