i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
