no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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