Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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