He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
