her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
A+ Viking dick
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
