He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
