if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize