make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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