HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize