Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
