You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
