i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize