I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize